


Roses for Romance

by lilithiumwords



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Humor, M/M, mafia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-19
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-12-17 04:31:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11844003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilithiumwords/pseuds/lilithiumwords
Summary: Really, the fact that it takes Bilbo four months to figure out that Thorin is a mafia leader embarrasses him. He should havenoticed.





	Roses for Romance

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KaavyaWriting](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaavyaWriting/gifts).



> Entirely for kaavyawriting, who loves mafia AUs, and who deserves all sorts of lovely things.

Bilbo is browsing at a bookstore when he meets him.

"Curse these tall shelves," he mutters under his breath, reaching up as high as he can for a book angled in just a way that he can only barely touch it. With a huff, Bilbo rocks back on his heels, then starts when his shoulder hits somebody. "Oh, I am so sorry --"

"It's no problem," says a deep voice, as an arm reaches past him for the very book Bilbo was trying to reach. Bilbo turns halfway to see a tall man with silver at his temples and piercing eyes standing behind him, a small smile on his handsome face. "Is this the one you wanted?"

"Yes," Bilbo says as he takes the book, a little dazed. "Sorry, um, am I in your way?"

"Not at all." The man smiles at him, and Bilbo's knees go a little weak. "Thorin Oakenshield, at your service."

Bilbo's voice does not wobble. He doesn't let it. "Bilbo Baggins, at yours."

~

After that, it's one date every weekend, though that soon blossoms to spending the evening at Thorin's house, or inviting Thorin for dinner, or going out to the movies, or shared babysitting dates. Thorin's nephews are wild and adorable, and somehow introducing them to his tiny nephew is both wonderful and horrifying, because Frodo quickly picks up their rambunctiousness. Bilbo can only hope that his calm Frodo has a good effect on Fili and Kili.

Thorin is wealthy, charismatic, and always dressed in a nice suit. He seems to have cousins everywhere -- Bilbo sees them at the market all the time, when two months ago, he never would have noticed them. He's pretty sure one of Thorin's cousins even works at his company! He sees the bearded fellow every so often in the hallway, and gives him a small nod, though the cousin in question (is it Gloin? Oin?) never stops to speak to him.

It's nice, at least. Bilbo can appreciate a large family -- his own list of aunts, uncles, and cousins is enormous. The only ones he is close to, however, are Drogo and his family, and a scarce few on the Took side. Otherwise, Bilbo never speaks to any of them.

Thorin is always surrounded by family. His cousins Balin and Dwalin are ever at his shoulders, either poking through a tablet (Balin) or flexing their muscles (Dwalin). At least Thorin doesn't bring them on dates!

(He is pretty sure, at least, that Thorin doesn't bring them on dates. He does think he's spotted Dwalin hiding behind a potted plant one night when they went out for Italian, but that might have been his imagination.)

Also, Thorin has the ability to produce anything that Bilbo wants or needs. One time he told Thorin all about the book he had been chasing for four months on ebay, and the next week, Thorin presented him with a small package, beautifully wrapped, revealing the book in question. Another time, he ran out of the delicate truffles that his mother sends him every year on his birthday, on the same day that he lost his temper at work and had a horrible day, and the very next evening, Thorin dropped a whole box of the chocolates right into Bilbo's lap!

It's nice that he's so generous, but really! 

Bilbo has tried his best to stop Thorin from spoiling him. He doesn't think he has succeeded much, but at least Thorin has stopped bringing giant bouquets of roses to every date. (Bilbo ran out of windowsill and vases. He had to start giving them to neighbors!)

Really, the fact that it takes Bilbo four months to figure out that Thorin is a mafia leader embarrasses him. He should have _noticed._

~

"I can't believe you," Bilbo seethes, while Thorin stares blankly out the window. "Thorin! Look at me when I'm talking to you!"

"Mm," Thorin replies, and Bilbo throws his hands up.

"You can't just kidnap innocent gardeners from their jobs! Nor can you threaten them with disembowelment!"

"He's hardly innocent," Thorin says with a sigh. Bilbo nearly throws a vase at his head -- he is _this close._ He has plenty of them!

"In my house!" Bilbo shrieks. "If you don't fix this, then we're going to have serious words, Thorin Oakenshield!" Thorin continues to ignore him, so Bilbo stomps out of the room, ignoring Dwalin's wide-eyed stare and Balin's solemn expression. He has an empty kitchen and quite a lot of flour -- he should bake. Something. Anything! Anything to get his mind off that idiot Thorin Oakenshield and his idiot mafia business that he has dragged into Bilbo's life!


End file.
